Wednesday, March 14, 2012

How I Knew She Was The One

            The truth is that I didn’t know Heather was the ‘one’ for me, but God did.

            I’m sure you know a great deal of our story, but I’ll still share some of the details. I was at my home on a Sunday evening watching Celebrity Apprentice with my laptop. I was doing what any normal person does while watching television......posting my opinions to Facebook. LOL! Like any other time, my chat feature was on, and I received a message from my now-wife, Heather. She wanted to know if we could have honey during a fast we were doing for the church we attended at the time. For the fast we could only eat what came from a seed, so her question was a valid question. I responded to her; then, I got up to go downstairs to the kitchen to get some more snacks. At that moment, I realized some funny stuff to say. Well, I thought it was funny. I sent her messages saying that I was going to plant a pig, a cow, and a chicken in the ground so I could eat it when it harvests. The joke was that the pig, cow, and chicken are supposed to be seeds, and we could only eat…whatever…you get the idea. I thought it was funny. You had to be there.

            Moving along.....we continued to Facebook chat until about 1 or 2 that morning. Realizing that we both had work the next morning, we agreed it was time to end the chat. Being the gentleman I am, I didn’t ask her for her number. Instead, I sent her my number and told her she was free to send me her number if she wanted to continue the conversation. I closed my Facebook, and I shutoff my computer. About .05 seconds later, LOL, I got a text message from…guess who….Heather! She gave me her cell number, home number, office number, email, social security number, copy of her birth certificate, ring finger size, dental records and blood type……I’m kidding….somewhat.

            The next day I approached my then-pastor to let him know about our conversation. He was familiar with Heather, so it made it easy for him to give counsel on the relationship. I just wanted to be sure I was covered. We would go on to text back and forth that entire day about random stuff. Then, we finally spoke over the phone. I’ve never heard Heaven’s bells ring, but I’m sure the sound of her voice sounds something like it.

            I wasn’t interested in a relationship at the time. I was stressed at my job, and I felt like I already had too much going on. Trying to add someone else to the mix was just too complicating for me. Nonetheless, God had other plans.

            In order for me to properly answer the question ‘When did I think Heather was the one?’ you must understand me. I don’t believe in ‘the one’ stuff. I feel as if I could choose to be with anyone in the world. It’s ultimately my choice; however, I believe God has a plan. We have the choice of whether or not we want to follow God's plan or ignore it.

            Abut a week after we spoke, I flew to New York with my then-pastor for work. Since Heather lives in New York, it worked out perfectly. I’ll never forget seeing her that day. I was standing on the second floor of the Time Warner building on Columbus Circle in Manhattan. I was standing near a watch store, and I was thinking ‘if she’s busted, I’m leaving!’ I know that’s terrible, but whatever. LOL! I saw her come down the escalator, and I was speechless. She was, and is, simply breathtaking!

            I really wanted to get to know her more to see if this was a relationship I could entertain. While eating, we began to converse about having children, her moving, our past, etc. We talked for a good 3 or 4 hours. Afterwards, we went back to the Time Warner building, and she said she had to go to the bathroom. While she was in the bathroom, I had my conversation with God about not kissing her until the wedding day. It was at that moment I realized Heather COULD be my wife. I was relatively nervous about how she would respond to not kissing her until our wedding day, but I told her anyway. Her response was so encouraging. Her response was further proof that I was on the right road.

            I didn’t have a ‘burning bush’ moment like some people speak of in their relationship. It was rather humbling to have that feeling that I possibly met the woman I would spend eternity with one day. As great as a feeling it was still a little weird. I guess it was weird because I'm a little weird. #shurgs

            This is what I did know. I remember telling God that I wanted a woman who was classy & sassy. I’m a handful… me! I knew I couldn’t marry a wimp. Plus, I’m a bit of a risk-taker. I like to put it all on the line and bet my life away. That’s just the kind of guy I am. I knew God had plans for my life, and I had an idea of what those plans included. For that reason, and many others, I didn’t want to marry a woman who was stuck to the couch and wasn’t adventurous. I didn’t want to marry a woman who loved all the things I loved. I loved, and still love, the fact that my wife is different from me in so many areas. That difference challenges me to grow, and it makes me better. For example, my wife really considers health much more than I do. As a single man, I was eating Burger King, McDonalds, frozen pizzas, etc. Nothing says, "YUMMY!" like a flame-broiled Whopper with ketchup, mayo, lettuce, tomato and bacon. I know how to cook full-course meals, but I didn’t have time to cook them. I would just pick up whatever was close and eat it. Plus, I’m a big snacker, so it was common to see bags of chips and Baby Ruth wrappers all around my kitchen and in my man cave. Heather offered something different to my life. She introduced me to apples and peanut butter instead of Doritoes. I would of never thought to mix those two things together. She showed me how to use grapeseed oil instead of vegetable oil. She introduced me to vitamins and stuff I didn’t realize existed. She opened my eyes to a whole new world. I didn’t want to go home to a woman who made fried porkchops, buttered rice and gravy, collard greens soaked in bacon, and kool-aid every night. I needed something different, and Heather provided that for me.

            Also, she is beautiful. The Bible says that a wife is the crown of her husband. No man wants to wear a crown he doesn’t find attractive. It warmed my heart to know Heather was committed to staying in shape, eating healthy and taking care of her body. She also brought cable television into my life. I don’t know if that was a blessing or a curse. HA! It also meant a lot to me to know she was fashionable and trendy. I loved, and love, her smile. I love her sense of humor. I love that I can have fun with her any and everywhere I go. I love that she’s the same woman on Saturday night that she is on Sunday morning. I love that she constantly works at being better. She takes challenges head-on, and she doesn’t give up easily. I love that she leaves her emotions at the door and accomplishes a task because it’s the right thing to do. I love her unabashed love for God the Father and God the Son, Jesus. I could go on and on and on about my love for her.

            Ultimately, it was my choice to marry Heather, and I made a doggone good choice. I believe it was God who led her into my life. God opened my eyes to her at the right time because I didn’t ‘see’ her until He was ready for me to ‘see’ her. There were many times I walked right past her without giving her a second look. I truly believe it was God’s doing, and it’s marvelous in His sight. Now, the work has begun. Marriage brings a set of difficulties that both the husband and the wife must work through. There are many disagreements because each one of them grew up a certain way and have a certain idea on how things should be done. Nevertheless, the work is fun, and the fun work makes marriage an adventure to be lived. Come live it with us.....the right way!


  1. sigh....u guys are just awesome. this was great im so used to just reading heathers point of view...which is always so life changing..but it was great reading yours! ur both so inspirational! love u guys! stay blessed :)

  2. Lol you are too funny! Thanks for sharing your "How I knew she was the one" as Heather shared hers. You guys truly have the love of God dwelling within you. #ToGodBeTheGlory


    *Niesha Jackson* (:

  3. Very encouraging. Glad there are men out there like yourself with standards, self-control and determination. That is truly a blessing that you are leading other young men in the right direction. Thank You!

  4. Amen! May God continue to protect, cover, and progress your covenant. God bless you both.

  5. This is sooo encouraging to me especially since the past couple of days Ive been back and forth about being happy whoever my husband will be. Thanks for sharing!!

  6. Well, I must say Heather's version was much more romantic. But hearing the perspective of a spirit-filled man is great and inspirational. Guys like this exist. wow.